Tag Archives: dreamgroup

Mefloquine (Anti-malarial) Structural Formulae

In Defense of the Nightmare: Why Troubled Sleep Sometimes Makes Sense

Common formula these days: Can’t sleep or bad dreams; go to the doctor; get a prescription to wipe out your dreams. A 2006 Dissertation by Kimberly-Anne Ford, Mefloquine dreams: Exploring the subjective experience of risk and safety and its role in the regulation of pharmaceutical drugs in Canada, explored the subjective experience in dreams of drug side effects. While that was only a part of the ethical considerations raised in the dreams, it is a step into the truism that something happens in our dreams when we are not taking psychotropic medicine, and something else happens with our dreams when those medicines are introduced.

Mefloquine (Anti-malarial) Structural Formulae
Mefloquine (Anti-malarial) Structural Formulae

I was talking recently with a friend who was riveted one weekend with the coverage of two horrific world news stories unfolding at once: The violence in the Gaza strip around mutual shelling from/to civilian areas, and the Russian Separatist activities including the militant shooting down of a civilian flight killing nearly 300 peFractured Earthople. Whether it is Kosovo of ten years back, Beirut of three decades ago, vulnerability to terrorist attacks since 9/11, or other forms of consistent national violence, it becomes clearer that the world can be unsafe and unsettling.

Pair that with the trauma on a personal level that happens all over this country: One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. The “Ray Rice” situation is horrific for that family, as is every situation in which domestic violence occurs,  and for them it is happening in public. The fact that this and other NFL stars such as Peterson, MacDonald, Dwyer, and Hardy, are all in the spotlight elevates the visibility of a previously invisible problem. One in every 240 Americans will be murdered – at present homicide rates. Aaron Hernandez, a former NFL star, is now awaiting trials on multiple murders.

Today, one in every 34 Americans is either incarcerated or under supervision – meaning there is a lot of crime out there – and a good deal of punishment. And on top of the nastiness that occurs among friends or in our homes, nearly all adults as of this writing watched the horror of 9/11 unfold in real time on live TV just thirteen years ago. There is not an illusion we are safe from THEM (Russians, Terrorists, Asians, Muslims, Drug Cartels) or from US (Excessive Government, Militia, Police, Swat Teams, Republicans, Democrats, Tea Partiers, Gangs, and Dodger Fans). So part of the question might be, “Why don’t we have more nightmares than we actually do?”

Ebenezer Scrooge

Nightmares operate on several levels. Even that statement, simple enough, operates on a lot of levels. There are night terrors, more prevalent in childhood, more present in trauma survivors (and onot always explained by trauma). These are not the nightmares of the nearly well: these are debilitating physiological and psychological events. Recently, I met a woman receiving treatment for PTSD, and one of her prescriptions is in place to take away her nightmares. Where, then, do they go? Should we not be disturbed? Are we paying attention enough? Are we doing enough?

Traumatic events bring about more horror than the mind can process. Imagined fears can bring about a similar effect to realized terrors. And these overwhelming urges arise in our sleep, some say so that they may be dealt with in a way and at a time that we are prepared to handle them. Wipe our our REM state of sleep, and what are the consequences? Where do those images go? Are we simply bandaging our wounded so they can return to the front lines of home, family, war, workplace, and not feel like the bad things that happen really occur? I am asking not because I have answers, nor because I want them; but more, as Rilke said, because I love the questions. Today, I live the questions.

Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is,to live everything. Live the questions now.

– Ranier Maria Rilke

 

 

Welsh Rarebit

Nemo, Jason, and Fictional Characters in Dreamtime: A Shout-Out to Winsor McCay

Orca Whales in Play

I have dreams of orca whales and owls but I wake up in fear. . .

– Regina Spektor, “Hotel Room”

So when is a whale a symbol, and when is it “Free Willy?” Do Jason or Freddy Kruger now live in the collective unconscious, and therefore creep endlessly from dream to dream? And what about reading ourselves to sleep and dreaming by extension of the characters in the book? And when we tell our children, “Sweet Dreams,” are we simply making cute conversation, or performing a subtle dream incubation ritual?

Thanks are in order to my daughter, Kathryn, who suggested this post and also introduced me to Regina Spektor returning from a baseball game we saw together. Kathryn, since this post will miss the mark of what you had in mind by a lot, please leave a lengthy comment improving the piece!

In Boswell’s Life of Johnson, the biographer quotes his subject as reading Hamlet so young, “that the speech of the Ghost in Hamlet terrified him when he was alone.” The time of youth is still a magical time. In a recent dream group, a participant shared a recurring dram from her youth; that she and her sister were in an orphanage trying to escape a fire. She was a huge fan of the Musical “Annie” which she saw on Broadway young; her takeaway was that maybe her love for her parents was a fear they might be taken away. So scared of this dream was she that she would await at the top of the steps until they went to bed so she could sleep knowing she was not alone in the house. Ina way, she had developed an inner Orphan who was already watching out for herself.

For a couple of years in the late 1990s, I was conducting a weekly dream group with adolescent males in state custody. Their frequent answer to the question, “Name something that has chased you in a dream” would be a villain from a Friday the 13th or Halloween type movie. I have no doubt that the premature exposure of youth to “R” rated material affects their dreamtime (if nothing else.) And yet the chase dream is a common, terrifying rite of passage for most children, and without a projection figure such as Freddy Kruger, children can come up with their own terrifying images, sometimes distortions of people they know, sometimes apparently made out of whole cloth.

The “Nemo” in the title is unrelated to the Disney character, although I am sure many youngsters of the Nemo era have (mostly happy) dreams of those popular figures. There was actually a comic strip by Winsor McCay running from 1905 to 1914 (and then a shorter run in the 1920s) called “Little Nemo in Slumberland. ” In each brightly colored Sunday panel, Nemo walked the readers through rich imaginative drams with characters of faraway lands and the mythological realm, generally ending with him waking up in such a way to incorporate dream content. The panel below (best viewed HERE) shows Nemo having a frightful encounter with Father Time in which he ages prematurely, only to be comforted by his mother upon awakening.

Little Nemo and Father Time

So the Nemo series actually offers a formula about the effect of the environment on dreams, and the effect of dreams on the dreamer. In a timely note, McCay was pretty phenomenal with his dream strips, as he was also the author of “Dreams of a Rarebit Fiend,” the Welsh Rarebitpredecessor comic strip to Little Nemo. The thesis of that strip was the wives tale that eating spicy food, like Welsh Rarebit (pictured at left) could induce nightmares. See also the Gomer Pyle episode of same theme). McCay was also a visionary cartoonist, as we know animation today, and in 1918 finished the production of a silent film on the German sinking in 1915 of the passenger ship Lusitania, which is remarkably under noticed by comparison to the Titanic disaster, but so very timely in light of the recent Russian separatist shooting down of Malaysian Air Flight MH17 over the Ukraine.  A link to the remainder of his production of the Lusitania sinking is on his Wikipedia page, and worth the 10 minute investment of time (as opposed to the 25 minutes to watch Gomer Pyle).

dream-of-the-rarebit-fiend-19050816-l

So this post is a tribute in honor of Winsor (not Windsor) McCay, a visionary man (who may have had a little trouble with beverage alcohol) but whose inclusion of dreams in fictional accounts and his fictional accounts of the world of dreams fired the imagination of millions in the early part of the previous century.

 

Not the same without you 2

Thresholds: Liminal Space and a Grief Observed.

Liminal: The space between places. Not inside, not outside. Like getting to sleep and thinking I am awake ~ yet dreaming already. The room is no longer the room; no longer am I alone. Or awakening, seeing the familiar trappings of the bedroom, yet feeling the traces of the dream thoroughly in waking life and as real as a set of pajamas. Liminal space is the twilight of dreams in which one thing is seen in a different light.

LIMINAL, DEFINED

So here are some definitions of Liminal I have gathered around me to help describe this fleeting phenomenon, the phenomenon of fleetingness itself:

  1. Of or pertaining to a threshold or entrance
  2. Barely perceptible
  3. Of or relating to a transitional or the beginning stage of a process, see “inceptive; inchoate, or marginal”
  4. Of or relating to a sensory threshold
  5. an intermediate state, phase, or condition: In between; transitional, e.g., “in the liminal state between life and death.” (Deborah Jowett)

THE DREAM

So now I have a dog, approaching fifteen years old and unlikely to make it. She is frail and requires help to get up and down the two steps of the house. She is incontinent. She is well beyond every forecast life expectancy given when she was diagnosed with Seizures (2001),  Cushing’s (2011) and now Addison’s Disease (2013). She has trouble standing up. Doorways terrify her; she struggles between the desire to go out or come in and the fear of falling and not being able to get up. A doormat can and does trip her, and sometimes when the doormat bends back I cannot get the door open fast enough for her weakening systems. Today was going to be the day to put her down, but our vet is out of town.

Libby 2003

Last night I had a dream – one of those deep, unreal, convincing dreams.:

I am at my grandmother’s house. Everyone is in the back living room and there is someone knocking at the den door. I call out that I am coming, As I get there, it is my father (who died in 1999, the year Libby was born). He is there with another relative, not my mother, more like a cousin, younger than he. I can’t open the door because of the mat. I tell them to stand back, I have to close it and straighten out the mat before I can open it again.

A friend of mine who lost his father earlier this year was comforted by the words of a minister: “All deaths are linked.” So his father’s death was linked to his wife’s losses. So Libby’s pending death is linked to the loss of my father, my mother, other pets, friends, and acquaintances. It is linked to my own death, whenever that should be. And there is something about this doorway, in that house where no one would still be alive, that is like the space I am in now about to say goodbye to a wonderful friend and family member.

ASSOCIATIONS

So, associations in this dream: Grandmother’s house: this is my maternal grandmother’s house where we gathered twice a week for dinner. Very festive, very family oriented. Yet for thirty years, the only time any of the living from that time gather is for a funeral, perhaps a wedding. That will change this summer as an aunt and uncle have planned a gathering. Father: My father’s illness and death was huge in the many changes in my life, sparking in me a fear of my own mortality and that of others. While there has been other losses, none were as close as this. I coped by going to many baseball games that year, San Francisco, Chicago, Atlanta, Boston, New York, Philly, Detroit. Something in baseball attracted me, seeming universal (there are sooooo many more spiritual baseball movies than any other sport). Think, Field of Dreams, the original Angels in the OutfieldThe Natural, or Bull Durham. And this year I have season tickets for the first time. Ever.

Mat. Associations to mat: Mat is where one stands in liminal space. “Wipe your feet, for you stand on Holy ground.” (Misquoting of Exodus 3:5). Also “Mati” for death. Mat as in matted hair of my dog. Mat as in material, matter, something of substance and tangible, as opposed to the intangible or liminal.

RESOLUTION:

So, what does the dream ask of me? What does it mean, what does it want me to do? Part of my reply is that if I could clearly answer that I would hardly need to dream at all. If I knew the answer to that I would not need to write at all or to discuss my dreams with others. Yet the dream as an act of comparison is pretty clear: There is a portal. There is a ‘here’ and a ‘there.’ And what we see in the ‘here’ is linked to the ‘there,’ both in terms of time (such as the days in which family was ‘there’ as opposed to here) and space (in terms of this side or that side of the doorway), and also in something that is beyond time and space, neither here nor there. Dreams, especially dreams like this one, point me to the infinite, that which is beyond any door I know. Beyond this space. Twilight.  Liminal.

Not the same without you 2

Updated July 9, 2014:

Has gone to her reward.

The staff from Belle Mead Animal Hospital were amazing, and Libby seemed so ready to let go of her pain and struggle. The dog who is so full of energy and a will to live now slips into her own dreams, then into the dreams beyond.

My wife, Tricia, is actually staying with our other dog Samantha to work from home  today. I plan to bring Sam for a half day to my workplace and we will see how that goes. Thanks for your support.

Had a dream last night, 7/8/14, first after Libby . . .
May 2009 Smantha Close up
Libby is stuck in a doorway. I am going to retrieve something outside and Sam [pictured at left] gets out. She goes to a garage area where people had left the gate open. People with cars who should have closed the gate. In the dream, as in real life, I am able to flag Samantha down because she is out of shape. Her rehab program starts now!

As for Libby, she starts another program, another assignment, another life. And how grateful are all of us that loved her for the love she brought to us!