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Loretto Chapel Staircase

On Top of the Spiral Staircase: Steps 10-12 and Dreamtime

On Top of the Spiral Staircase: Steps 10-12 and Dreamtime

Earlier posts addressed the first five steps of the anonymous programs and steps 6-9. This post is concerned with the “Maintenance” steps in recovery, steps 10, 11 and 12. By “maintenance,” this has nothing to do with harm reduction approaches like Methadone or Suboxone: that may be content for a different blog. These are called the maintenance steps because most of the personality change has been accomplished in steps 4-9; the remaining steps have to do with solidifying gains. And the recovery slogan that applies to monitoring dreams in this area is: “Eternal Vigilance.”

Maybe one of the most surprising features of tending dreams is the report of so many people in long term recovery that addiction or using dreams are such a present form even two and threLoretto Chapel Staircase e decades into recovery. Many people report the relapse dream, usually recounted with remorse, as a literal eye-opener, a dream from which they awaken startled and sometimes shaken, still not sure in that uncertain  haze between sleep and waking if the dream was or was not an actual event.

Day-Blind

One clap of day and the dream
rushes back
where it came from. For a moment
the ground is still moist with it.
Then day settles. You step onto dry land.

Morning picks out the four
corners, coffeepot, shawl of dust
on a cupboard. Stunned
by brightness, that dream —
where did it go?

All day you grope in a web
of invisible stars. The day sky soaks them up
like dreams. If you could see
in the light, you’d see what fires
keep spinning, spinning their mesh of threads

around you. They’re closer
than you think, pulsing
into the blue. You press your forehead
to the cool glass.

They must be out there in all that dazzle.

Chana Bloch

In Professor Bloch’s poem, the dream vanishes with the thunderclap of day. In a using dream, recovery vanishes and the dreamer is left with a lifestyle as old and comfortable as winter gloves at the season’s first snow. The veteran of recovery considers the dram, evaluates the last few days looking for emotional disturbance ofr conflicts with people or values. Finding nothing she moves on. Finding something, maybe a call to a trusted other is a timely action.

For many people in longer term recovery, the dreams are problem solving dreams as would be found in any person any time. Hadfield (1954) listed four pertinent reasons for dreaming which seem as applicable today as then;

# 1: Wish fulfillment: Imagining the problem as though it were solved
# 2: Re-creation of Problem: Not to resolve an issue, but to bring it to forefront
# 3: Possible Consequences: Not just problem statement, but saying how this might work out. . . and . . .
# 4: Self Portrait: “There are other dreams which appear to present a self portrait, a picture of the psyche as it is; they are photographic, mirrors showing us to ourselves and in doing so helping us to face up to our problems in the psyche.”

#1: Of all Freud’s observations on dreams, perhaps “Wish Fulfillment” is the notion that has taken so many rightful hits. It seems that to dream something one wishes for or its opposite is too wide a hoop to miss. Also, research has shown those deprived of food, for instance, may dream no more of eating and food that the normal population, . That and many such experiments have debunked or weakened that notion. Still, dreamwork

sometimes shows us as being in a fAmiens Cathedral 1940suture accomplished state that we might want: the ability to turn away from a bad ethical or moral choice; the ability to exercise our faith or belief in a positive way; even encounters with angels or Deity.

#2: Re-creation or repackaging of a problem – perhaps this is the dreaming psyche’s way of saying there is something so subtle that it needs to be brought forward in stark relief. Maybe this is some seeming harmless form of denial or lack of self honesty – which could lead to a dangerous and slippery slope. Step 10 in the anonymous programs is concerned with recognizing error and correcting it in real time by admitting mistakes or problems. Recovering persons are encouraged to take stock regularly of their actions and to remedy matters when they are small deals in order to stave off big deals. Sometimes a dream may bring a conflict to the forefront in advance of the dreamer’s conscious ability to see it coming.

Problem Solving
Problem Solving

#3: How about possible consequences? Many of the people I work with report that a using dream has given them the option of considering the chain of events that would happen if a relapse actually took place. They derive all the benefit of bad experience without having to engage in the bad experience. It should be remembered there is a difference between a dream shared with revulsion at the thought of relapse versus a dream with enjoyment or thrill about relapse, as is discussed well in David Schoen’s 2009 work on “The War of the Gods in Addiction.” Willful and enjoyable relapse in a dream is not a great sign, though usually in early recovery. However, talking with another person about a using dream allows the dreamer to consider and “think through” consequences of actions.

"How am I supposed to think about consequences BEFORE they happen?
“How am I supposed to think about consequences BEFORE they happen?

#4: So the fourth suggestion Professor Hadfield makes is the notion that the dream holds up a mirror. This is exactly the purpose of step 10: “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.” It was true in the mid 20th century in psychoanalysis also – dreams have a way of making the marginal worries or problems known and actionable to the conscious mind. This is the type of insight many dreamers seek when taking their dreams to another for consultation. Recovering persons are encouraged to notice their motives, even at incipient stages, watching for fear, resentment, selfishness, and dishonesty as the early seeds of a potential relapse. Reporting this to another person is a cornerstone of maintenance recovery as well as a common and natural component of DreamTending.

Reflecting Pool
Reflecting Pool

Dreams, with their reflective capacity, problem solving functions, canary-in-the-coal-mine alert systems, and capacity for us to evalaute wishes against action, seem to have many of the functions embodied in the maintenance steps of recovery. And the same people who look to dreams for spiritual or human development, amay also find the same in the “self-forgetting” or mindfulness aspects of steps 11 and 12 of the Anonymous programs.

 

Votary Figures and SBE 4

Meditation and the Dream

Last week I was thinking of a story that arose from the Catholic monastic tradition. My flawed memory is that his time of year about thirty years ago I was reading Lawrence LeShan’s book How to Meditate but I cannot find it there, so I can’t properly attribute the source at this time.  The story goes that a monk was new at meditation. He had a vision of the Virgin Mary, and was very pleased, seeing this as some advanced state of enlightenment. He related his good fortune to his mentor who promptly told him, “Go back to sitting, and if she appears again tell her to go f— herself.” This seemed pretty blasphemous to me at the time, but the image has lasted.

 

Behind this story is the primacy of meditation for meditation’s sake. The idea is that to free one’s mind totally also means freeing it of the images from the spiritual dimension as well as from the tasks of life: “Did I pay the AmEx bill?” and “Does the dog need his Parvo shot?” are equal to distractions of divine revelation from opening of the crown chakra. For instance, in The Lotus of the True Law, or Saddharma Pundarika, the Buddha, “sat cross-legged on the seat of the law and entered ipon the meditation termed ‘the station of the exposition of infinity,'” when a marvelous thing happened:

And at that moment issued a ray from within the circle of hair between the eyebrows of the Lord. It extended over eighteen thousand Buddha-fields in the eastern quarter, so that all the Buddha fields appeared wholly illuminated by the radiance, down to the great hell Aviki and up to the limit of existence.

Votary Figures and SBE 1

So the draw toward meditation is perhaps that experience of “enlightenment” such as the Buddha with the curl modeled for us. I’ll have to say, that is what I anticipate every time I sit, and that’s my goal when I contemplate the station of the exposition of infinity.” That was also, by the way, the goal each time I smoked weed in the 1970s.

chill

And meditation is often defined by our ability to anticipate and dismiss mental distractions. Dreamwork sometimes operates in a different order. In the dream we are presented with the images first. Then we write out the dream, and share the dream with another and associate on the image. We invite the image into the room. We allow the image to take form, to dialogue, and to instruct. We are no more master of the image than a chimney is master of its smoke. Dreams start with the image, the image comes to life, and the image brings meaning or experience. Meditation has a different directionality; we start with the experience, the image is banished or put to death, and undisturbed mediation proceeds. Of course, neither process is that neatly linear, and neither direction is right or wrong; I am just pointing out there is different directionality and different meaning. One thing happens if one’s aim is to banish the image; another thing happens when one is open to interplay or submission to the will of the image.

Meditation is a broad term to many people; perhaps a more narrowly defined term for those who have adopted a formal or regular practice for a number of years. In the mind of this writer, meditation and dreamwork overlap and yet are distinct: and meditation can be a tool to enhance a dream image, to allow it the live of its own much like an active imagination such as may be described in the works of dreamworkers as different as James Hillman and Robert Johnson. This morning, in approach of the New Year, it is my intention to allow an active imagination in a meditative style between the part of me that meditates and the part of me that dreams.

 

Acropolis at night

Dream and Addiction Recovery Workshop, Friday January 9th

JANUARY 9, 2015  Noon- 2PM

(Lunch beforehand)
Randal Lea, MA, LADAC, QCS
“Recovery Through Working with Dreams”
$ 20.00 General Public; $ 10.00 TAADAS Members
Host: TAADAS/ TAADAS Training Center

Airport Executive Plaza Bldg
1st Floor, Suite 140
1321 Murfreesboro Pike
Nashville, TN 37217
(615) 780-5901

More information: ramie.siler@thenextdoor.org